High school whaaaaat?

So I watched Dr. Phil yesterday, and it was so sad that I witnessed these grown adults still impacted by relationships and incidents that happened in high school. I could not believe these people would get on national tv and admit these insecurities. How vulnerable they must've felt, but how much more their pain must be to go through with the show. There were four people interviewed, and I want to concentrate on the two women. Maybe it's easier to write about b/c I am a woman, I dont' know. Anyway, this beautiful blonde was obviously very hurt by being the nerd in high school. She spent years as a "dancer" in a night club in front of men getting attention trying to prove to herself that she wasn't a "nerd" and was attractive. On the show you could tell she was still shaken to the core about this issue and lost all confidence, and with the popular girl that intimidated her in high school sitting across from her on the show, made her even more insecure. I just couldn't believe how, what, 20 years later she was still affected by what happened so long ago. What's worse, is that the popular girl acted as if she had no idea and didn't care. She was still living in the "i'm a popular girl" phase from high school and acting unaware of anyone else around her. A grown woman so engrossed in her own beauty and popularity that I'm not sure she's matured at all from high school. What makes me so sad, is that their identity is still based off of who they were in high school. So what am I trying to say? Well, for starters, how many people out there still identify themselves as they were known in high school. No matter who you were then, the jock, the poor kid, the popular girl, the geek, shouldn't we all grow out of that and become who we're supposed to be as adults. Forgiving and letting go the past. More importantly, God changes people from the inside out. He changed me from the inside out. I made horrible mistakes as a high schooler. Ask anyone who went to school with me. I partied, I lost my virginity and then some, people liked me, people hated me, it never ends. But when I let God help me, he changed my identity and he changed my perspective. I changed so much and am so different now than I was, and yes it did take time, I still fight insecurity. But for those two women to still have their identity be based on what happened in high school, it's soooo sad. There's so much more to life.

BHAG

I am 26... that is my age. Eight years ago I sat in the Vines Center at Liberty University listening to Jerry Falwell preach about finding your BHAG (big hairy audacious goal). The whole message talking about people who did all these wonderful things, including his own story about establishing the TRBC church and the university, which is pretty amazing to say the least. But it was overwhelming as an 18 year old freshman. I wanted to be the person who knew what they wanted out of life, knowing that they wanted to be a doctor, be a missionary, know exactly what God called me to do. Truth is, I didn't. And here I sit, years later thinking... do I still not know what exactly my BHAG is? Will I ever have a BHAG. I have a lot of goals though, like I know I want a family. I married the love of my life and am so happy. Actually, we'll be celebrating our 1 year next week!! So, I suppose I knew that. I know I want children. Sometime soon before I hit the thirties and it's harder to lose the baby weight, so I hear. I did just get a job with full benefits so that helps the process. I want a dog. I look forward to becoming a part of a church and helping people inside and outside of it. I guess, I can't pick just one big BHAG. Maybe a BHAG is an opportunity that comes along and you have to say yes in faith. I seem to take little steps at a time versus having big dreams and going after it. Mostly because I've seen people have these big dreams and then they don't work out. I hope I'm not afraid of failure... sure I am a little, who isn't. But I suppose some people have more ambition, or some people feel a grand call to do something. I suppose I never really felt that. I'm just going through life step by step. Is that right though? Should I step out of my comfort zone more to find my BHAG? I guess right now I feel content on being a wife, loving and being loved by my new husband, and working to eventually establish a career. Not to be confused with selfishness, it's just how I feel. It's my phase in life. And I think I'll keep watching for a BHAG in case it comes along and I feel that it's for me.